Day 4

It's been two, three, four days,
   almost a week
It's three fifteen a.m.
    & I need another drink
& a moment to think?
   no, numb my mind
I take a drink,
   trying to erase time

I can't say I feel guilty
  about what was
& I can't say you were thought of
   my Love

I only thought of me
   in our lust filled game
All the way up
   until she came
& then peacefully drifted
   to sleep
Leaving me up
   to drink
& wait for this moment
   When all is dark; calm
The moment when all is
   silent; shalom

Under the nights silent song
   I sneak back into bed
Sliding underneath the covers silently
   I lay down my head
I close my eyes
    move close
       & wrap my arms
    around a ghost
& I hold onto my love
  promising to never part
Head full of broken promises
   & violations against both hearts

I smell your hair
  waiting for the sun to rise
to bring with it unwanted clarity
   & opened eyes
      that looks nothing like yours
   they are not as brown
But what does that matter
   She's not sticking around
Bc no matter,
   what we do
She will never be
   you

Realizing this, I open my eyes
   face buried in your scarf
Heart pounding, tears falling
   I could never cheat on my heart
But if I did
   I know she wouldn't be the same
Sure, same hair, same smile
   same laugh, same frame

There is still
   always one truth
No matter how hard I pretend
   the scarf might never be you again...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 6

I watch helplessly,    as Jack fulfilled your needs I watched on helplessly    bc it was one I couldn't meet Thinking our love was enough    I asked you to leave I begged for you to just stay    stay with me & you do    for a while I must say That is,    until you see Jose He leaves you bitter    with hate filled eyes slicing me with your words    & making me cry I beg & please     for you to leave them be I beg you to Look! See! Love,     it's ME! Though I beg you     to let them go I am no match     for Ernest & Julio & when I see you with Jim     I know your going 1-100; full throttle Over the yelling you don't hear my cries, Please Baby, stop choose me, put down the bottle.
Read more

Love

I haven't had a lot of luck with love in my life, so I don't write and haven't written many #poems about love. I felt that the inspiration always led to something dark and twisted, something depressing. But, being a writer, I decided to see if I could. And Love came out, this is the first love poem I've ever written... I hope you enjoy Love It is a feeling I barely understand,  She as my Girl and I her Boyfriend. I’d rather die with her than see another Sun set,  I as her Romeo and she my Juliet. I’d shout out my heart day out and day in,     With her as my woman and I as her man. If our feelings were breaking laws to the bloody end I’d ride,     Cause you are my Bonnie and I your Clyde. I’d give you the world and gladly my life,     I as your husband and you as my wife. I’d invoke a war and give up the world to destroy,     I as the Trojan and you my Helen of Troy. With each other our hearts will never grow weary or tired,     You as the oxygen and I a
Read more

Regrets

Today while I was writing I started to think about regrets. I was thinking about the things that I've done and the lack of things that I've done with my life. I do regret a lot of things and though they might have shaped who I am today, I'd love to have gone without them and the lessons they taught. I started to write about my many regrets but since the list would be endless so would this poem. I began thinking about what I felt was the ultimate regret, love. Love, would be my next big regret. I felt the regret of loving or marrying someone, the wrong one was my next big regret. So, I wrote this poem, but I felt it would be better coming from a woman. It would be better coming from the fragile heart. I felt regrets from a doubting heart, a woman that was in love but doubted her future husband was. And that's how I came up with... Regrets... The veil covers my eyes; the ring is on my hand. The stars are in the sky, as we become wife and man. I speak in a s
Read more