Heaven's Sonnet 1

I needed to be happy and the only way I saw that happening was with my mother. The next seven poems are my attempt at writing a sonnet and creating a story of them. The story is about #suicide and was written when I was in a state of depression I know no one around me at the time could bring me out of.

And I really didn't have the energy to try and get myself out of. I was a low place where I didn't care and really didn't want to live. But, I'd been told by my sister that I needed to find a reason. I needed to find a reason to go on, a reason to fight. My mother was my reason.

So, in an effort to see her again, to paint an everlasting picture of her and where she is, I started the projects called Heaven's Sonnet and it turned out to be an effective suicide prevention project. This poem made me think about what I had and was willing to leave and give up.

It also helped me explore what I felt in my heart my mother would want.

Heaven's Sonnet 1

A small fist full of the most deadly pills

is what I decided to throw in my mouth,

and now I am lying perfectly still

as my mind's consciousness fades in and out.

For me, life was just a little too much.

So much so that I could no longer bear

life without my mother's soft and sweet touch

and unconditional tender love and care.

And so now i have given it all up.

So, I'm ending it all this way;

I lay down never again to get up.

Darkness comes as I slowly fade.

Everything goes darker than the blackest night,

then out of the darkness comes a bright light...

To Be Continued...